Skipping School: A Short Story

Three young high school aged kids, when given free time, boredom, and an automobile will do most anything without thinking it through. They themselves believe they are geniuses without parallel. Hatching schemes isn’t a problem but a challenge to be met. They’re tossing the universe about with each decision they make.

(Classroom)

Perry: Pss- Tom.
Tom: What?
Perry: Dude lets just skip sixth period.
Tom (apprehensive): Oh I don’t know.
Perry: Man what-er you gonna be missing?
Tom: Nothing.
Perry: Exactly, nothing. So, instead of doing nothing lets do something.
Tom: Well what are we going to do anyway?
Perry: I don’t know we’ll figure out something…Hey Kate.
Kate: What?
Perry: You wanna skip sixth with me?
Kate: No.
Perry: How about with me and Tom?
Kate: Ok.
Perry: Alright, think of something we can do…Tom.
Tom: What?
Perry: Hey I got Kate to skip with me for sixth period- you can come if you want.

Tom looks at Kate.

Perry: You know you want to- its gonna be fun…You’ll thank me later, you know you will, you always do-
Tom: Fine, I’ll go. But what are we doing?
Perry: Dude don’t worry about it- I’ll figure something out.

Fifth period came to a close and all three walked out of the classroom and slipped out to the parking lot with looks of guilt all about their walk and talk. They met up outside of Tom’s car.

Perry: Ha! All those suckas going to sixth while we’re gonna party.
Tom: Where’s the party?
Kate: Yeah what are we going to do Perry?
Perry: I don’t know what do you guys wan to do?
Tom: I thought you said you had a plan?
Perry: Well it hasn’t come to me yet.
Tom: You’re going to get me into trouble.
Perry: Just chillax man, you can’t fight genius.
Kate: What does that even mean?
Perry: Well Kate, I’m a genius filled with genius like thoughts and words which should not be trifled with. It’s a process that lesser minds can not comprehend.
Kate: Right…Genius…what’s your GPA again?
Perry: Grades? GPA? Do you even know what that stands for?
Tom and Kate: Grade Point Average.
Perry: Wrong. It stands for Getting Punked Again. It’s just another way for the man to stick it to you and keep you crossing labor fields looking for some illusive orange carrot that’s on a string and out of your reach.
Tom: You’re ridiculous.
Perry: Whatever.

(Pause)

Kate: So what are we going to do?
Tom: Yeah, Perry this was your idea, what you got Mr. Genius?
Perry: Like I said you can’t rush these things. Do you tell an egg to hatch before its ready? No. I’m in my egg right now with my embryo (touches Kate) and my protein source (touches Tom) and the heat source of the day that’s coming down- HIDE!

All three duck behind cars to escape the school’s monitor who’s out making his rounds. The hall monitor passes and the three arise from their hiding places.

Tom: We got so lucky.
Kate: That was close.
Perry: Even had Mr. Morrison come by we could just have told him we are seniors and we don’t have a sixth period. It wasn’t close, I was one step ahead.
Tom: One step ahead right?
Perry: Right.
Tom: Ok, then I have a question for you.
Perry: Good cuz I have an answer for ya.
Tom: Being as how we’re not in our sixth period class and attendance is taken every hour and if we miss class they call home, how do you suppose we explain being absent to our parents?
Perry: Tommy, Tommy, Tommy you thought I’d forgotten about that but actually I brought the solution (points to Kate) to the problem with us.
Kate: I’m the solution?
Perry: Precisely. You’re my Mom. You’re in fact all our Moms. You call in and excuse beforehand and that phone call will never reach our parents.
Tom: They’re gonna know its bogus Perry.
Perry: No they’re not- trust me.
Kate (speaking to Tom): You got any other idea?

Kate pulls out her cell phone and calls the school- all await in silence but with excitement, thinking they’re beating the system.

Kate: The office didn’t pick up they’re putting me on an answering machine.
Perry: Perfect!
Tom: Shh.
Kate: Hello this is Thomas McCoy’s mother calling in to excuse him from his sixth period class today. He wasn’t feeling well and came home early. If you have any questions just give me a call at (looks to Tom for home phone number)
Tom (whispers): 448-1753
Kate: 448-1753 (closes phone).
Perry: Nice work.
Kate: It wasn’t too hard.
Perry: Called him Thomas that was a nice touch. Alright call me in now Mom.

Kate acts like she’s dialing.

Kate: Message machine again…Yes this is Perry Tippets mother calling to excuse my son for not being in his sixth period class. His diaper rash has been acting up again (Perry gets look of death on his face and mouths ‘I will kill you.’ Meanwhile Tom tries to keep from laughing) and his prescription just came in this afternoon and so he’s now just resting himself gingerly on his bed. If you need anything just give me a call- Perry I told you to sit down, put your pants on first, you’re so helpless sometimes- gotta go, bye (closes phone).
Perry: I can’t believe you! Of all the excuses that’s the least believable.
Kate: I know.
Tom: Ah that was classic.
Perry: how could you?
Kate: I didn’t, I hit cancel instead of send. I just wanted to see how you’d react.

Tom laughs.

Perry: Ok Kate very funny, for reals this time.

Kate dials and hits send.

Kate: Yes I’d like to excuse my son Perry Tippetts for missing his sixth period class today he was at a dental appointment. It was his first time having a filling and they ran out of novocain. If you have any questions just give me a call, I’m sure you have my number.
Perry: Better.
Tom: I don’t know, I kinda liked the diaper rash story.
Kate: while I call to excuse myself you (speaking to Perry) come up with an idea.
Perry: She says it with such authority.
Kate: I’m your mother remember, so just do it.
Perry: I’d never thought of my mom in the same light that I look at you…I’ve never been so attracted to my Mom in all my life.
Tom (laughs): You’re sick Perry.
Perry: What? You know you were thinking the same thing.
Kate (annoyed): Yes I’m calling to excuse my daughter Katherine Rumsey from her sixth period class. Her Aunt Flow made an unexpected visit so she left school with her. If you have any questions give me a call at 536-7861.
Tom: Do you really have an Aunt named Flow?
Kate (laughs): You’re so slow…so pure (sincere).
Perry: She doesn’t have any Aunt Flow, she told em she was on her period.
Tom: Gross.
Kate to Perry: How’d you know that?
Perry: You can’t fight genius- remember? I got sisters.
Tom: They talked to you about that?
Perry: NO my family always spoke in code. I learned to read by them spelling things out when they didn’t want me to know what they were really saying. As time went on I told them they couldn’t trick me with that W-E-A-K space S-A-U-C-E. Then they started speaking in a different code and I had to learn how to make associations. Aunt Flow, Riding the tide, and Elmo in a Blender all meant they were on their period.
Tom: Ew Perry, that’s sick.
Kate: Perry we got the point.
Perry: Oh sure, feel sorry for the ‘slow…so innocent, so pure’ one but the man that’s been bloodied in battle you ignore. You know what it feels like to think you have family that never visits you? Or to think your sisters all get to go river rafting and you don’t?...Don’t even get me started on Elmo. I thought he died countless times. I began to think he was part cat cuz each time I watched Sesame Street he’d still be there. He had more than nine lives.
Tome: Are you serious?
Perry: I secretly thought cookie monster had it out for him. Everyone wanting to tickle Elmo. He was getting too popular. Cookie Monster was a monster with those crazy eyes.
Kate: Wow sad day.

Pause

Tom: So what are we going to do?
Perry: We could go and get a slurpee and then head to the park to play on the swings.
Tom: I don’t have any money.
Perry: Yeah neither do I.
Kate: How much do slurpees cost?
Tom: Like a buck fifty- you gonna cover us on this one?
Kate: If you drive.
Perry: See, slurpees and swings for free, I’m a genius. I’m starting to hatch from my egg (acts it out) oh the lights so bright.

While Perry thought he was puncturing through to a higher level and a freer world with Kate and Tom- Tom wondered where he stood with Kate. Kate meanwhile hadn’t made up her mind. She was smart and wasn’t sure if shed let herself be attracted to these boys. After purchasing their slurpees from Raj at 7-11 the three strolled over to the local park and sat on swings with dark clouds approaching off in the distance.

Tom: I just don’t understand girls or I just haven’t realized there’s nothing to understand about girls.
Kate: Well-
Perry: Kate, I got this one. You see Tom women are a sensitive and strange species.
Kate: This’ll be rich.
Perry: Kate if you’d just keep quiet you may learn something here. You interrupted my train of thought- women; right. They want many things, many things at the same time- even conflicting things that don’t make sense- they want that too. Instead of talking about what women want its important to note what they’re attracted to. All sorts of women want all sorts of things depending upon a whole host of factors but what women are attracted to never changes.
Tom: What are they attracted to?
Kate (sarcastically): Yes, tell us, what are women attracted to?
Perry: Women are attracted to confidence and iniative. They want a man who knows who he is, what he wants, and who will take steps to get there.
Tom (to Kate): Was he right?
Kate: Partially.
Perry: Kate can’t fight the fact she’s obviously attracted to me.

Kate laughs rolling on the ground.

Perry (turns to Tom): Tom she can’t contain the joy she feels when she’s around me. Look its just pouring out of her.
Tom (playing along): Yep she’s down for the count. She saw you take initiative at the end of fifth.
Perry: That’s a given.
Tom: And she saw the confidence in your eyes as you asked in a hushed voice of secret passion, “Will you…skip sixth with me?”
Perry: My sweet, sweet Tommy you’re getting it. You’re seeing the light catching the vision.
Tom: It’s just too bad for her you have absolutely no interest in her.
Perry: I know and neither do you. Too bad for you Kate the two coolest guys just don’t look at you in that way.
Kate (sarcastically): I’m heartbroken.

Pause

Tom: This slurpee is so good.
Perry: I know- it goes down easy every time.
Kate: You guys are so ridiculous.
Tom: Ridiculously awesome.
Kate: you’re close to the truth but so far away at the same time.
Perry: If you want to talk to us about girls go ahead but it’d be about the same as talking to Van goh about his paint brushes.
Kate: Oh now the genius is a painter.
Perry: I’m an artist.
Kate: Right, sure, ok Van Gogh. Really, I think- are you ready for this?
Perry: Can’t wait.
Tom: Go for it.
Kate: Guys and girls are like swings.
Perry (sarcastically): Profound.
Tom (sarcastically): Bravo, say it again.
Perry: We’re like swings.
Tom: Even better the second time.
Perry: I got chills when I said it…but I think that came from my slurpee.
Kate (disgruntled): Fine.
Tom: Come on Kate we’re just razzing you- out with your theory.
Kate: No.
Perry: Fine, I’ll just have to expound it for you. You see Tom guys are like swings and girls come and sit on them and get them all bent out of shape. Originally all swings had a flat bottom but girls over time broke the seats just like they break a man’s will…ok that was stupid of me- Kate we’re ready to listen.

Kate keeps quiet.

Tom: We were wrong to have interrupted and we’d like to hear what you have to say.
Perry: For reals Kate, he’s telling the truth.

Kate lets the silence continue a bit more.

Kate: As long as you acknowledge that.
Perry: See right there she broke our will so she can sit on us now and rule with an iron fist…ok now I’m done.
Kate: guys and girls are like swings. What fun is a swing all by itself?
Tom: Not any fun.
Kate: You could sit on a swing for forever and go nowhere and most people do. Most people wait for someone else to come by and I guess some people will always wait. What guys and girls both need every now and again is for someone to come by and push them, make them move by making a move.
Perry: Tommy I think its time you took a walk for awhile and let me and Kate have some alone time, some grown up talk and time to test out this make a move theory.
Tom (laughs): Look at this guy; he’s a swinger alright, swinging for the fences.
Kate: Seriously though people are waiting for someone to come by and make a move. Too often there are two people each saying to themselves, “I wont do anything till they do something.” And so they just wait (Kate takes a drag on her slurpee).
Tom: So someone needs to (gets off his swing and gives her a push) make a move.
Kate: Yeah, you just need to put forth an effort.
Perry: But how do you know if a girl’s digging you?
Kate: She’ll come back to you and let you make a move again. Its like gravity, it’ll be natural and she will give you more opportunities.

Perry pushes Tom aside.
Tom: and if you don’t like em how will he know?

Perry pushes Kate and she jumps off.

Kate: She won’t come back to you.

Everyone gave a look to one another.

Tom: Maybe you outa take a walk Perry and let the grown-ups talk.

They all laughed. Kate didn’t breathe and Tom didn’t want to while Perry had the wind in his sail taken from him.

Parenting has been said to be a team effort. It’s interesting to see how two people from two different backgrounds mesh their techniques together. They take what they were given and put a twist on it, their own twist and Tom’s parents were no exception. They were trying to mesh their ideas in a plan of attack in their room before they brought their son in for deliberation- a hearing he had no idea he would be summoned to.

Dad: I want him to think I’m God.
Mom: Now what good’s that gonna do?
Dad: Well we shouldn’t tell him how we found out he skipped school because if we tell him he’ll think, ‘I just need to be more careful next time and I won’t get caught.’
Mom: And what happens if we go with your way and not tell him how we know?
Dad: Then he thinks we’re like God and he’ll fear us. He’ll think we’re omniscient and omnipresent. We’ll be in his mind and he won’t have the will to disobey us.
Mom: Fine but we need to focus on what the problem is. We need to focus on the future and what he’ll do when placed in the same situation. He needs to know that what he did was a violation of our trust. Had he just called me or you and asked to skip it may have been a different story but it’s the fact that he tried to hide it from us that he’s in trouble.
Dad: Right. How’d you hear he had skipped anyway?
Mom: He had a girl call in pretending to be me.
Dad: Creative- so how’d they know at the office it wasn’t you?
Mom: The same voice called in two minutes apart two more times to excuse his friend Perry and a girl named Kate.
Dad (getting worked up): Who’s this Kate?
Mom: I have no idea.
Dad: How many periods did they skip?
Mom: Just sixth.
Dad: Lets get him in here.
Mom: Tom, could you come in here.

Tom walks in with a smile that slowly fades.

Mom: Do you have anything you want to tell us about your day today?
Dad: Yeah like what went on in sixth period?

Tom waited then knew it was no use.

Tom: I skipped sixth.
Mom: Who’d you skip with?
Tom: Perry and a girl named Kate.
Dad: Whose idea was this?
Mom: Where’d you go?
Tom: It was Perry’s idea and we went to a 7-11 to get slurpees and then to a park to swing. I went to practice and came home. That’s it.
Dad: I don’t believe Perry’s smart enough to pull off a scheme like this- he doesn’t have the will to do such. You were the ringleader.
Tom: Dad I swear it was his idea.
Dad: Even worse you’re a follower not a leader.
Mom: Now hun be nice- who’s this Kate girl?
Dad: Is she a tramp?
Mom: hun- well Tom?
Tom: No she’s just a girl in one of my classes. How’d you know I skipped?
Dad: I know everything you do.
Mom: That’s not important Thomas, what’s important is that you don’t do this again.
Dad: We’re the ones asking the questions.
Mom: Had you told me who you were with and that you were going to skip I would’ve called in to excuse you.
Tom: Really?
Mom: Maybe, but only had you been hanging out with Perry.
Dad: So you like this Kate girl- did you kiss her while you skipped sixth?
Tom: No.
Dad: Well if you didn’t kiss what did you do?
Tom: We all just talked.
Mom: About what?
Tom: Stuff.
Mom: Tom you need to start talking-what’d you all talk abut if you weren’t kissing?
Tom: I learned about life.
Dad: Learning occurs in the classroom and the stuff you learn outside of it isn’t practical at all. What’d you learn?
Tom: Um… I learned about swings and Elmo in a blender.
Mom: Swings?
Dad: Elmo in a Blender? What’s this slang stuff?
Tom: Nothing, I was just kidding.
Dad: This Perry kids wearing off on you; he may be funny buy you’re not right now.
Mom: And I don’t like this Kate girl. Girls at your age just want to get into trouble with a nice boy like you.
Dad: You stay away from this Kate because she’s nothing but trouble. She’s just gonna wanna get in your head, and get you all bent outa shape.
Tom (under his breath): Like the seat of a swing- bent outa shape.
Dad: What’d you say?
Tom: Nothing.
Mom: Boys and girls your age are going through changes.
Tom (under his breath): Changes of the tide and visits from Aunt Flow.
Mom: And they’re gonna want you to do things- they’re going to want you to push the envelope.
Tom (under his breath): Push them on a swing and they’ll come back.
Dad: Quit mumbling and listen to your mother.
Tom: Ok I got it. I won’t skip and if I do I will call you in the future. Stay away from Kate and don’t listen to Perry- I got it.
Mom: Good. You’re such a good boy.
Dad: Now get your homework done- oh and give me the keys to your car.
Tom: What? Why?
Dad: The car is a privilege you’ve lost for poor behavior. While you ride the bus each day for a month you can think about whether it was worth it or not to be a follower.

Tom gave his Dad the keys and walked out of the room.

Mom: You know you could go a little easier on him.
Dad: You are the good cop I was the bad one.
Mom: We could both be good.
Dad: You’re the angel and I’m the devil- the message got through to him.
Mom: I thought you wanted to be like God to him.
Dad: I was, but when you’re young God can seem like the devil.
Mom: Taking the car for a month may be a bit harsh.
Dad: The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.