Imagine: The Drop-Off

Dropping someone off at the end of a date is an experience, to say the least. Certain codes of conduct should be established so as to avoid any awkwardness. When there is no set pattern or known rule to follow moments such as this will happen.

Ben: Man, finding a parking spot around your place is almost impossible.
Julia: I know. You should see it during the fall time when everyone comes back to school…

Ben finds a parking spot and both Ben and Julia exit the car. They start the walk back to Julia’s place.

Ben: Yeah, I can only imagine this place is swarming with students during the fall. (Inner monologue) How is this drop-off going to work? We’ve only been out once so will she give me a hug? I don’t even want to go on a second date with her but I would like to be hugged. She did like me after all. She laughed at everything I had to say tonight. If only I were physically attracted. Call me shallow, its what I am.
Julia: It’s too bad they miss out on the pool and all during the fall. I’m lucky I get to have it all to myself. (Inner monologue) I wonder if I invited him to go swimming right now if he’d do it with me. There is no one in there. Maybe if I think it hard enough he will somehow say it. I was reading about that today how positive thinking brings things about- it was in women’s health, Teen 17, Vogue and on Oprah. It must be true- Oh he’s gonna say something, I need to listen to what he’s saying.
Ben: Swimming’s fun; especially when its so dang hot out. (Inner monologue) Why cant I just be physically attracted to this girl. She is normal, which is saying something considering all the psychos I’ve taken out recently. At least I did some things I enjoyed tonight. I got a slurpee, I listened to some acoustic guitars, and was able to laugh…if she doesn’t give me a hug that’d just suck. Why cant you just like her?
Julia: (Inner monologue) What did he say? I was totally checking him out. He’s working it all tonight and he keeps smiling- say something you idiot show that you were listening. Mmmh, I just love that smell, that laundry room smell.

Ben and Julia walk by the apartments laundry mat that is open.

Julia: It just smells like laundry. Moron.
Ben: That it does. Where did that come from. Just smile and nod your head, yeah that’s right, nod your head and the awkwardness will just disappear. Ok up these steps and then the big finale so I might as well start into the routine. Hey, thanks for going out with me tonight. Wait now for her to decide whether to give you the hug. If you go for it then she’ll think you’re interested but if you sit back and wait then it will all be her blame if she wants to complain about it all later to her girlfriends…I want to be hugged, I want to feel important. Shoot I haven’t even kissed a girl in years, a hug would be some encouragement. I’m tired of the laughs I really am. Great I can get a girl to laugh but they’re cheep laughs. They’re the type of laughs you can get out of your niece or nephew.
Julia: Yeah no problem it was awesome. Ok don’t come on too strong- wait, what is he waiting for? He’s just standing there. Is he going to kiss me? It is just the first date after all- oh who are you kidding if he gave the green light you’d definitely kiss him. Maybe Oprah was right, positive thinking really works- come closer you.
Ben: Maybe I’m standing too far away, just a tiny step forward. Wait, take a step back kind of like you lost your balance and then go forward. Oh sorry bout that, like I said earlier, my balance goes on me the later I’m out. Come on, I’m standing right here and I just want my hug. Just give me the hug and I’ll be on my way. It’s a courtesy hug, everyone gives hugs at the end of the date. Even if you don’t like the person you give them a hug right?
Julia: I’m paralyzed. This guy has cast a spell on me. Oh its all coming so fast now. If he puts his one hand on my lower back and the other in my hair that would be so Patrick Swazy- Be my CHIP n DALE. Easy on your feet there, you’d think we were out drinking or something. If you were a drink I would’ve downed you by now.
Ben: Right. Um…Well, she’s not gonna give you a hug. Maybe if you open up your arms she’ll take the hint.
Julia: So, you…Why are his arms open and now folded. He took a step back. Maybe he doesn’t want to kiss me. Is it cuz I look like a prude? I don’t want to be a slut…he’s hot though and I could be a little tease for one night. Hey we all need confidence boosts. My mom told me if I wanted the guys to go out with me I needed to put on a tight sweater and so I did that tonight. Maybe I should come on to him.
Ben: Huh, what? This is taking forever. Forget it you can get a hug from someone else some other time. You’re just a little depressed because this isn’t like high-school. You don’t have a wingman and people haven’t heard of your legend yet. Why is she looking at me like that? Is she feeling sick to her stomach? She did down that slurpee really fast.
Julia: When are we going out again? There I said it, oh my gosh, already setting up the next date- Yeah!
Ben: Shi-oot…oh man what do I say (opens arms and closes them multiple times while saying) Um…well…uh…thee…it…oh…we…There is no way in hell I am going out with her again, I just wanted my hug and she wanted another date? Come on, lets at least be professional here.
Julia: Why does he keep opening and closing his arms like that? Is he pitting out? Is he getting ready for take-off. Poor guy is nervous, he’s stuttering. He hasn’t stuttered this whole night. No-way he’s into me! And…be gentle with the guy he’s trying to express himself.
Ben: And…you jerk why would you put a guy through this. If I just close my eyes and imagine she’s an attractive woman maybe it will be so. NO, you cant do that. One day the spell will ware off and you’ll wake up in bed with her and a kid in a crib and say to yourself- what have I done? Just walk away my man, there will be other ladies. Be gentle though, she doesn’t know what you’re thinking. Um…yeah I’ll call- sometime. Keep it vague, real vague. Thanks.
Julia: Thanks.

Ben: I’m going to walk away, great, a girl that was into me and didn’t even make a move. At least the psychos would give me a hug. Bye. Psychos may be stupid but they are affectionate.
Julia: Oh so close. I just need to think it harder next time. Maybe if I stare at him as he walks away it’ll get into his brain for the next time we go out. Bye. Hello date number two.