Smith's Employee

Andrew played out scenarios in his head more than he ever played them out in real life. There were a number of women that he saw throughout his day that brought about an ability within Andrew to believe in himself and the possibilities…possibilities of him hooking up with them.

Andrew went to the supermarket to buy a bag of chimichangas. While there the following occurred within his mind.

Andrew: (nothing….on autopilot…walking through the frozen food aisle) Oh, it looks like a sale on ice-cream. A buck eighty-eight for cookies and cream- oh heck yes I’ll buy some. (walks toward the chimichangas) Oh they’re on sale too- this is awesome. (walks towards self check out lane and sees cashier) I could go through this self check out, or I could checkout the lady that will ring up my items. Yeah, I do only have two items but, shoot I need a pack of gum too and maybe this time I will have the guts to talk to her. Three items is enough to stand in line for her, right? I really shouldn’t be attracted to her. She’s got this dark attractive light about her. I don’t know how to describe it. The lady even has a tat on her forearm; some Chinese character. She’s tough. The black dye job on her hair is a good choice. This summer heat has given her a tan too. Slender build, maybe she runs each day? I run, she runs too- maybe I’ll see her out some time in the future. No, she probably lives like ten miles from here. I wonder if she smokes? If a chick like her has a tat on her arm and a black dye job I think she probably smokes. How old is she? Low thirties max, maybe late twenties. What would she think if I hit on her? The reason why she is so skinny is probably because she is into crystal meth or something like that; but when she smiles her teeth are still there and they’re white…well whiter than I would expect if she did do some sort of hard drugs. Even though I don’t do drugs its not like kissing her would transfer the drugs to me; would it? Oh my spot is coming up. I should place my items down and get some gum. There; three items, ice cream, chimichangas, and gum- I’m a regular bad ass. That’s the type of guy I would expect her to be with, but then again maybe she’s trying to clean herself up. She may have received this job through her parole officer and she’s on her way back to the top. Smiling at me like that doesn’t deter me from thinking nothing but the best about her.

Andrew (aloud): How you doing?
Lady: Good, how are you?
Andrew: I’m doing just dandy…the weather outside is great; too bad you’re cooped up in here all day.
Lady: Yeah, I hope my flowers don’t get dried out in this heat.
Andrew: Oh you garden, got yourself a green thumb there?
Lady: I try to garden.
Andrew: Flowers or vegetables and stuff?
Lady: I like both but I’m trying some raspberry bushes now-a-days. Your total is 4.37.
Andrew: That’s cool (hands her a five dollar bill) I’ve never tried gardening (points to a display of gnomes) But I figure if I ever do start into it I’ll have to buy one of those guys.
Lady: (laughs) Really?
Andrew: Yeah but I cant bring myself to do it, something about sharing my place with an old bearded man just doesn’t appeal to me…and the fact that he’s 1/16th my size doesn’t make me trust him either.
Lady: (handing him the change) sixty three cents is your change; (laughs) why cant you trust the little old guy, I think he’s cute?
Andrew: He looks too much like my conscience.
Lady: Your conscious is a gnome?
Andrew: No, but if my conscious were captured in physical form I’m sure it’d look like that guy (points to gnome) right there.
Lady: (laughs) Why a gnome though?
Andrew: Small, old, mixed up with the mystical (picks up plastic bag)…well, good luck with your garden.
Lady: Thanks, see yah.

Andrew walking away: Where does that come from? The gnome thing just kinda came out of nowhere. I think she was digging me up until that point. “Mixed up with the Mystical,” what was that all about? She’ll end up thinking I’m into dungeons and dragons. She’s probably thinking I’m the one on drugs… She’s a gardener though. The outdoors has an ability to heal the heart. There is something edgy about her. Is it the tat? Her black hair? It could be the fact that she’s teetering between the ages; there is the youthful lusty busty in her that’s looking like it’ll be beat down by the etchings of age. I can see it coming and taking away the edge, leaving her hollow. A punk band that turns thirty is what will happen to her face here soon. She, like the band, could once shout the f-word and sense the shrill feel of youthful uprising, but age would take her appearance and make it be nothing but a used hollow woman…It hasn’t happened yet. The thought might have occurred to her and now she’s wising up the advice she received from her adolescence. In drug rehab maybe they told her to start a garden to see the growth she’s made, like a plant that needs nurturing.

Andrew put his groceries in the back seat of his car.

I’m still attracted to her. I’m very attracted to her. I’ll never get a tattoo. No, I’ll never use drugs. Gardening is something I won’t try my hand at either. She’s a lot of things I’m not and a lot of what my teenage self never was allowed to have but always wanted.

Andrew closed the back door to his car and stared at his reflection.

I’m not a teenager anymore and neither is she. I’m getting older too. She could still get away saying the f-word. I never was able to get away with it. Not even now that I’m older could I get away with it. Sometimes I feel it, but I can never bring myself to say it.

Andrew stared at himself with a hard look and then got in his car and started the drive back home.